Time traveling

If I could go back a few months in time here would be the main thing I would tell myself:
YOUR LIFE WILL NOT BE CONSUMED BY DOWN SYNDROME!!

I think after our diagnosis, I became obsessed with it.  I had such a thirst to know everything I could possibly know about it.  I needed to know everything.

Then I suddenly wanted to know nothing more.  I just wanted my baby here to hold and snuggle and love on.

Now that he is here and we have settled into life and it is just that...

Life.

My blog about life with Down syndrome has simply become a blog about life. 

How boring.

It really occurred to me yesterday when I realized it had been a bit since I had posted.  No wonder -  especially if you read the lasts posts.  Nothing extraordinary. Just life.

What a wonderful thing!

I wish I could tell myself that you will not be thinking about Down syndrome every moment of every day.  You will be soo busy living life, you will barely have time to think about, silly girl!  

I think anything that is unknown is scary.  I was SO worried that so much would/could be wrong with Owen.  I let that worry steal some of the joy from my pregnancy.  I regret that.  This was probably the last time I will have the privilege to bring another life into this world (yes, probably, grandmas!) and I missed part of it worrying.  Shame on me.

This is one of my hopes: not worry away the lives of my kids. There will ALWAYS be things to worry about with them. In fact, I am sure the degree of worry will rise in direct correlation to their ages.  But life will go on regardless.  I will live in the moment with my kids, or at least try really hard to.

I would also tell myself not to give a poop about what others think/feel about all this.  I have found myself getting worked up about responses from internet people.  Random internet people that post stupid, inaccurate, outdated information. What a waste of my life's minutes.  I surely should have told myself to remember that not everyone will be as informed as me.  I must grant them grace rather than working myself into a tither about it.  More wasted life minutes.

The final thing I am perseverating currently on is what I should say to myself about talking to the people in my life about all this.  Overwhelmingly, the people in my life have been AMAZING through the past months (diagnosis to birth to life now). 

I have rarely had an "I'm sorry."
I have had no one suggest that Owen weren't the perfect little being he is. 
I have had NO ONE suggest, allude to or question why we continued our pregnancy.

This all speaks VOLUMES to me about the people in my life and those we chose to talk to about all of this.  I am so grateful for the support system we have.  Blessings beyond the ordinary for sure!

A final note...
I do apologize if I run into you somewhere with or without O and spew information about his diagnosis.  I also apologize if I say nothing about it. 

During encounters I struggle with:

• Do I say something or not? 
• Have they heard about it through the grapevine?
• Have they read this blog?
• Can they tell *something* is unique about O?
• Did I brush my hair?  (really, this is a problem lately.  I really need to take few moments to check a mirror before I leave the house!)

So please forgive me if I go extreme one way or another.  I do not want everything to focus around DS, because it really is not a large part of our lives (right now, at least).  I also do not want to "hide" or minimize it because it is a part of our life now.

Weird, huh?

I am sure this will all sort itself out in time, but in case you see me before then, sorry!